Wedding Checklist Fail

I finally got around to adding a few things to my (very bad excuse for a) wedding binder.  The first thing in said binder is a wedding checklist from my planner, so I decided to see where we were with everything.

I knew we still had a lot left to do, but good grief, we are pretty far behind, at least per the checklist.  Here are the things that we should have done by now:

• Start thinking about stationery/wedding invites (in the July - September list)
• Select and book florist 
• Select and book caterer
• Send out save the dates 
• Order invites (in the October list)
• Select and order bridesmaids dresses
• Select and order baker for cake
• Register for wedding gifts
• Book transportation
• Book honeymoon
• Take engagement photos

Holy smokes!  What the hell have we been doing?

To be honest, we're pretty close on florist, caterer and save the dates.  And I'm planning to ask my creative guys at the agency design our invites, so no stress there.  I'm waiting on spring on the bridesmaids dresses, for the brighter colors to come out, we're planning on doing cake stuff in January and registry in February. And we already told our photographers that we'd prefer to do our engagement shoot in the spring.

So I shouldn't feel so bad....right?

Still..looking at this list and thinking about what we have to do gives me a mini panic attack every time! Ahhhhhhhh!

Expectations

I know that as a bride-to-be I'm supposed to be overly enthusiastic and positive about all the wedding stuff.  It's the happiest time of my life, right?    Well, I'd like to think that I am generally positive about it all (and I do get giddy talking about getting married to B)...but recently wedding planning has me down and I need to vent, so bear with me.  

While I love what we've planned so far for the wedding, and some of it has been fun, I've discovered that I absolutely hate wedding planning!  Since I love all things wedding, I really thought I would be in heaven planning my own, but the opposite has been true.  I think the planning part is the pits.

If I stop and think about it, I know a big part of it is that I feel a lot of pressure to meet many people's expectations:

- My parents want me to have a nice wedding but expect me to keep costs down
- Some friends expect a super fun event with lots of "really different & cool stuff"
- Other friends expect me to just LOVE the wedding planning and have gotten SO much done by now 
- B expects the food to be good, the booze to be top notch, the band to be fantastic

I also know I put a lot of the pressure on myself, but it is hard feeling like the only person truly accountable for pulling off a spectacular, memorable, fun event.  Thank god for our amazing planner - if she wasn't working with us I really would have lost my mind!  But still, every time B & I have to sit down with my parents and go over wedding details, I immediately get into a funk.

Recently we've gotten to the point where we have to make a lot of decisions and get some things checked off our list:

- We need to meet with caterers and then pick one
- We need to meet with florists and select one
- We need to finalize our save the dates and send them
- We need to find out how much transportation costs and what we really need to provide/when
- We need to tweak the budget and find out what we really have to spend on the fun stuff (eek)

Not only can it be overwhelming, but everyone seems to have a different opinion about "what's right".  If only all of these choices were as easy as the dress - meaning each one was amazing and we just had to say yes to the best one.  I know we'll get there eventually but it just feels like so much is riding on each choice.  We've literally allotted every penny in the budget, so any misstep with one of these choices could totally affect something else.  I feel ridiculous even typing this, but if feels like so much is riding on each decision.

Am I the only one that ever felt this way?  Absolutely not.

And will I totally get over it?  Of course! 

I just wish I could stop feeling so stressed out by all the decisions we're having to make and just enjoy it a little more!

Thanks for letting me vent.  Feel free to send me a xanax ;)